Keeping Goals and Dreams In Front of You

I guess I’m getting a little sentimental, because I have a landmark birthday coming up, and it’s surprising me how impacted I am by it, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the future (as well as the past).

For a writer, to look to the future means to evaluate where you are now and what you would like to be when you grow up. I guess I’m not grown up yet, because I’m still looking at a very long list of wishes and dreams and hopes and goals. I wonder sometimes what would happen if I finish this list. That’s a scary thought.

During the last two years, I scratched off a couple of bucket entry items that had been on my list since I was 11 years old: to travel to Africa and to go across country by myself. Boom. Both done in less than a year. Now, what?

I remember standing in the shower at the hotel on the Maasai Mara and sudsing up, doing the usual off-handed breast exam that’s my ritual (I’ve already had one operation on the little suckers. I’m not up for more), and I found a lump. A pretty substantial one. I looked up to the heavens and laughed. “Okay, this is it, huh? I’m done with my dream trip, so you’re kicking me out of play, huh?”

(Don’t get nervous. It was nothing. I’m fine. But, shit, that was scary.)

That moment stopped me, and for the rest of that trip, I forced myself to let go of the fear and enjoy the time of my life in a country I’ve always loved: Kenya. I put my fear on hold, knowing there was nothing I could do about it until I got home. But I reflected on where I was at that point in my life, and I had to admit I came up on the positive side, in spite of the sadness and pain I’ve had. The good parts outweigh the bad.

I’ve had many moments like those in my life, which is why I make these silly lists to begin with. I guess it’s part of bribing the reaper into keeping me here. But that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that we all should keep these lists. All of you.

Look up goal setting online. Go ahead, Google it. I’ll wait.

Okay, did you see how goal setting can make you happier? All the pop psychology writers will tell you that the brain loves to see clear goals, and every time you achieve a goal on your list, your brain will reward you with a chemical called dopamine (it’s one of those feel good moments — you know, you’ve had one every so often in life. The time you won the game in the last second. The first long, passionate glance with a loved one. Your first published story.).

And for those who like a more solid, academic approach to the phenomenon, here’s Harvard on the subject: https://hilt.harvard.edu/files/hilt/files/settinggoals.pdf

So, what should you do? Keep lists of your personal goals, your dreams, your if-I-win-the-lottery lists. Keep a list of places you should see, of people you should know, of books to read and movies to watch. Keep those lists in a place where you see them every day.

I am a firm believer that if you can believe it, you can achieve it. I think there’s a newspaper article somewhere in my files from a long time ago where I was quoted saying that very thing. I think I’ve believed your mind controls you since I first started writing stories. But that’s another blog.

If you believe it, you can achieve it. That doesn’t mean you sit around on your hands thinking about stuff all day long. Uh-unh. Nope. You have to do the work. You have to put your butt in the chair and your hands on the keyboard. Being a writer doesn’t happen by itself. You can’t think yourself into the career (although some do seem to do it by rote), because it’s an art that needs to be practiced and nurtured and tweaked.

So, one of my goals is to improve on what I have done. I know my last novel was a good one. I know I have many more stories to tell. Goal #1 for me is to continue writing books people want to read.

But I also have a dream of living on a beach in a foreign country, my notepad a little damp from the ocean breezes (this particular dream is specific to the point that I always add “with good wifi connection”). That dream has been on the list for a long time–and I’m working on making it a reality.

Somewhere on that list is a wish that I’ll live way longer than my ancestors, and that I will, indeed, get to the end of the Bucket List before I kick it.

How about you? What’s on your list?

My thoughts for the day.

Peace,

Dawn