How a Creative No Becomes a Yes

In Masaru Emoto’s Hidden Messages in Water, he explains the way water crystals change in reaction to what’s being said or thought. When exposed to negative emotions or words, the crystals in the water actually change, becoming erratic and jagged. I remember Emoto’s story every time I receive a rejection, and in the writing world, we all receive them regularly—even those who have been on the bestseller lists.

As a writer, I’ve built a career based on dozens of books, hundreds of articles, reviews, short stories, and poems. People consider me successful, and if success isn’t defined by a huge paycheck, I suppose I am, but not everything I have sent out for publication has made it to the page. In fact, I could probably paper a whole house with the rejections I’ve received. In publishing, rejections happen more often than acceptances, but few writers realize why they’re being told “no” rather than “yes”—and even fewer know how to turn those negative responses around (or even bother to try). The ones who do are the writers whose names you regularly see in a byline. The writers who succeed are the William Goldings of the world. He didn’t quit even though his now-classic novel Lord of the Flies was rejected 20 times.

Several different types of rejections exist in the publishing world, and other creatives see the same differentiation in the unenthusiastic responses they receive, as well. If you can recognize the lessons rejections share, you can turn them around.

The first type of rejection is an outright no. If your work (whether you’re a writer, artist, engineer, or entrepreneur) is not selling to anyone at all, consider it an invitation to return to the proverbial drawing board. (I give myself five ‘no’s’ before I begin revising a work.) During the revision – or re-envisioning—process, one learns. You look at the work differently, tightening up a few words here, getting rid of a character there, and, ultimately, the work improves. (Dr. Seuss’s first book received a yes after 27 no’s.)

The second is a semi-personalized rejection. If you’re receiving personalized rejections, consider them a “not right for me” answer rather than an outright statement on the quality of your work. Each publication has a trajectory they want to follow, a brand they’ve created, or a tone they’ve assumed. If your piece/idea/creation doesn’t meet their needs, it’s not that it isn’t good. It simply wasn’t going to fit their parameters, but it might fit someone else’s. Again, a learning experience. Know that your search needs to be as specific as possible. Fit your piece to the publication. Half the trick of publishing regularly is knowing your audience. (Tim Burton, phenomenal filmmaker, was rejected nicely by Walt Disney with a “not right for me.”)

The third is a rejection with regret. When the rejections you receive are layered with comments like “I love your work, but I’m not sure where to sell it,” you should celebrate. You’re near the ‘yes,’ and perhaps one more submission will garner that coveted acceptance. This is the time to send out your work once again – perhaps with one more polish. At this stage, reach out to others in your field for some constructive criticism; then, apply it. (Millenium Records rejected Madonna as not “being ready” but wanted to hear more.)

The creative world is built upon opinion and current trends. Walt Disney was once fired for being rather “unimaginative.” How many would think so today? His reaction to the rejection? He took classes in animation, worked with his brother, and little by little, he plowed through all the doubts and built a fantasy world we’ve all lived in at some point in time. Not once did that negative answer stop him. Instead, he created more, took more chances, and said, “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth might be the best thing in the world for you.”

Listen to the language successful creative people use. Their words are positive; their gaze is forward. When Ariana Huffington lost the race for governor of California in 2003, her response was, “I learned a tremendous amount about the power of the Internet. I also learned a lot about myself, about communicating, being able to touch people’s hearts and minds, and listening.” You can bet she took that knowledge with her when she built the Huffington Post empire a few years later, ultimately selling it to AOL for $315 million.

Lesson? Take that loss and learn from it. Embrace the rejections that include a reference to how close you came. Use the power of the positive to elevate yourself. Put the positive into your own daily speech, and you’ll effect change all around you. Turn those water crystals into fabulous works of art.